It’s Been A While…

As I look at my “Blog” page, I’m struck by the amount of time that went by from my last post until now.  It’s the equivalent to finally taking a look in your closet and checking out the clothes you haven’t worn in forever.  There’s a little bit of embarrassment and a kind of “what was I waiting for?!” attitude.

With things like blogs or really anything related to “doing”, there’s a part inside that can be quite ruthless and if we’re not careful, can deeply shame us.  I was experiencing this a few days ago.  Shame is one of those emotions that causes the body to go into a shocked like panic.   When it hits, you either go into a mental spiral, outlining all the ways in which you’ve failed or will be perceived as “not good enough”, or you shut that shit down and ignore the problem altogether.  

I was somewhere in between.  “You should really get on that blog, it’s been forever, what the hell?” and then five minutes shifting over to Facebook where I conveniently forgot about the whole thing. 

Now What?

So why am I writing a meta blog about blogging? Well, it’s not really about blogging is it? Over the past few months, given that we’ve been in a global pandemic, experiencing wildfires, hurricanes, and basically a sense of “everything is collapsing”, it’s given me a new appreciation for what is most important.  

Yes, relationships, family, self-care, etc., all of those things are important.  But what I’m talking about goes deeper than those values.  I’m talking about authenticity.  What is authentic to me is going to be different from you and on and on.  Authenticity is the way we want to show up to ourselves and the world, without fear of judgment, shame, or our ego getting in the way.   

As I write this, I realize this post is a bit all over the place.  Blogging, shame, authenticity: How do these all come together?  I suppose in a way, I’m inviting you to take stock in how you might reflect on what is most important to you, since a lot has changed in a short period of time.  How is shame or fear preventing you from being authentic? What does being authentic mean for you? If you were able to step into your most authentic self, what would shift internally and externally?

Would you shave your head? Say what you mean? Set more boundaries with your family? Would you actually follow through on taking that next step in your life that could lead to more freedom and peace?  Maybe it would be more simple than that and would be about honoring your needs every day, going slower or cherishing the spaces in between productivity.  

 Honoring Yourself

The message I’d like to convey to you is that: It’s never too late to reclaim your authentic self, your needs, your energy, your focus.  Sometimes all that means is making a promise to yourself that you will not abandon you.  That whatever feelings arise will be welcomed and be given caring attention, without any forced action or anything you need to do.  It’s taking your self seriously. 

So, as we continue to slog through 2020 and beyond, I invite you to really honor yourself.   Who is the self that lives underneath the thoughts? What does that self truly need from you in order to be given some more room to breathe? What would it be like to let your most authentic self be in the driver seat for a little while, where would it take you?  

Hold onto what is most important to you.  Be kind. Be brave. Own your mistakes with grace. Do not devalue you in the process.  Acceptance means owning all of who you are with respect and hospitality.

May your year ahead be one of great inner strength and courage to face changes and own what’s most important to you.