A good story will always grab your attention. It will activate your senses, make your emotions come alive, engage your imagination, and pull you into another world with is vivid details. You are transported, as if you somehow climbed inside the story itself and became one of its characters.

We all love a good story because it takes us out of the mundane and puts us into an adventure. Humans have always been moved by story; It’s what makes our species so interesting!

However, there is a dark side to this.

Not only can we tell amazing stories that play upon our secret desires to be heroic and discover enchanted worlds, but we are capable of telling stories that are capable of frightening even the most stoic among us.

 What If?

Anxiety preys upon this natural ability we all have and it does so by going after what we care most about. The basic story structure of anxiety goes something like this: A physiological sensation occurs and the mind says, “what if?”, which then creates a catastrophic outcome that scares us, producing more of that physical sensation we just noticed.

In other forms of anxiety, it might start with a simple “what if?” thought, that spirals into a worst-case scenario, leading us to act in ways that we normally wouldn’t under ordinary circumstances.   

It is the “what if?” that hooks us all, and when you’re prone to experiencing anxiety, your “what if?” gets tailored to what you care about the most. Yippee! This is why some people develop certain themes in their anxiety and others do not. If you do not worry about getting sick, for instance, you aren’t really bothered by the idea of germs. But if you care a lot about morality, you’re going to be much more preoccupied with the idea of obeying certain rules, for instance.

At the heart of anxiety is a story. And that story hasn’t happened. It’s just swimming in your mind as a possibility. And the truth is that all things are possible, but not all things are likely. Anxiety is sort of like a trickster: It lures you into a corn maze of confusion and before you know it, you have no idea where you are in that maze. You’re just looping!

Humans are wired to avoid threat, so we’re more likely to notice or pay attention to signs of threat (even if they’re in our imagination) than we are to notice signs of safety. The reality of anxiety is that is part of life, but it does not have to dominate our life.

 The Story Trap

When you stop and simply notice that your mind is spinning a narrative, you’re one step closer to disengaging from it and letting it be mental chatter that has no bearing on reality right now. Your anxiety doesn’t care that the thing it’s afraid of isn’t happening right now, it’s afraid of it happening tomorrow or next week. But, occupying your mind about something that isn’t happening in the here and now is a trap.  

And I’m not talking about thinking about your flight next week and wondering if you have everything packed. That can be a very useful form of thinking! Nor am I talking about wondering how your kid will do on their math test and it sending a small spike of anxiety through you.

I’m talking about the ceaseless worrying about a story your mind just made up, making you feel sick to your stomach, feeling like you must prepare for the worst. That kind of storytelling is the problem. You have to see it for what it is: A fabrication of my mind, not an accurate depiction of what is happening now.

The story will always try to pull you in, but it doesn’t have power when you see it for what it is. Think of it like this: You’re watching a movie and it’s really intense! You feel your heart racing, your pupils dilated, and your taking very shallow breaths. That’s anxiety! And what’s causing it? The story you’re watching unfold in front of you. The difference is, you know it’s a movie, so you don’t spend a ton of time worrying about it afterward. You watched it, it evoked an emotional response, and you let it go.

Try that the next time your anxious mind spins a story. Call it out! I see you, story line. You’re really good! Even pretty damn scary. But I’ve seen this story before, and I’ve no use for it. Thanks though, you really do know how to tell scary stories.

Come back to right now. The story doesn’t need any more of your attention.  

*This post is for educational purposes only and should not replace medical or professional advice.  :)